I am reading/studying through a book right now. In the back of the book there are discussion questions that help to sort of review the chapters and dig deeper. One of the questions asked me to name 10 things I love about my husband. Not just surface things, but real things, things of meat.
I skipped it and moved on to the next question.
And I probably shouldn’t have. But it was a deep thinking question. A question that requires a lot of thought. I could quickly name 10 things I don’t like about him….not because I’m a pessimist, but because I just don’t take the time to relish, appreciate, take in the good things…I take him (and his good qualities) for granted.
I tend to see things in black and white. It’s a fault and I know that I have to work hard to see the gray area. I’m sure that 90% of people live in the gray area. For me, seeing the gray requires me to sit and wait and ponder people and situations and why people do what they do…So, in turn, I am also analytical.
And so much of the good things he does and is are in the gray. Life is lived in gray with bits of black and white sprinkled in.
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The above was started in March. Yes, march. And now it’s nearing the end of July DECEMBER! and I still haven’t thought about this. I suppose it’s easier not to and easier to go about life as if he just “knows” that I love the things I love about him. But we all know that’s not true. One never really knows how you feel about them unless you let them know. Ok, so, here goes…
1. I love that he’s grown. When we were first married and first had children, neither one of us knew what we were doing. It just happened that I was the mom, the one who birthed the kids and, well, I should know what I’m doing…Only I didn’t and neither did he. But I thought I did and so I would be sure to tell him how to do it. And I am sure it was uncomfortable. I mean, you’re going along in life and things are easy and good and it’s all because you really only have yourself to worry about. Then all of a sudden you have a family and mouths to feed and you really don’t even know these little beings but you have to act like you do? It’s not easy, no. But now, it’s so awesome. Where there was once uneasiness, easy has replaced it. I love spying him taking the kids out to play or reading them a story.
2. I love that he loves me unconditionally. I admit it, I am hard to love. I am intricate and wildly emotional. When I feel, I feel with my whole being. I am not one of those people who just has an opinion about something…I am opinionated! He loves me regardless and always. He may just have to go out on a walk to love me sometimes, I don’t begrudge him that. I can be pretty suffocating. But he always comes back home and allows me to apologize or vice versa.
3. He is a DIYer. Not because he is cheap, but he truly enjoys doing things himself. I once asked him to build an addition onto the laundry room, he knocked it out in two days, all by himself. I recently asked him to build me a mantle headboard, again, finished his part in 2 days…Whereas I still have to finish my painting part…I think we’re going on two months 🙁
4. He’s a giver. I read earlier this year that my love-language is affirmation. My husband loves me in the language of gifting. He’s good at it, too. He’ll remember something I said 5 months ago about something I never thought he’d pay attention to. For instance, Anthropologie. Oh how this store makes my creative heart swoon. For Christmas, he gifted me with an Anthro candle and gift card. At first I thought he’d just re-used a bag that I had laying around but I didn’t recognize it (is it strange that I keep even the sopping bags from this place?)…He not only gave me a gift from there, but he wen’t into the store. He later said that he didn’t understand anything about the store, but that’s not the point 🙂
5. I love that he’s a realist. He sees things as they are and knows when to say when. While I am also a realist, I often see things as how I want or hope them to be. He balances me in this.
6. He’s good at math. In 6th grade I had a teacher named Mrs. Gobel. She ruined it for me. From the 2nd day of 6th grade all the way until now, almost 33 years old, I hate anything to do with math. Have to tip a waiter? I’ll just get my calculator app out–oh wait! There’s a tipping app! YES! *Sigh* Math is not my thing. But it’s his. And thank goodness because my oldest is in 5th grade now and I have no idea what he’s doing.
7. He doesn’t procrastinate. If something needs to be done he does it. Me? It can wait. If it were up to me, a lot of things around our house and in our lives would just be waiting. Again, he balances me.
8. He’s a good man. He has a heart and morals and values. He’s got a strong grip on right and wrong. He disciplines appropriately. He’s respectful and loving and warm.
9. I love that he chooses to love me and us. I am certain there have been several times in our almost 13 years that he’s questioned whether or not this was worth it. I am certain my wild emotions have given him reason to want to just retreat on a desert island somewhere…Yet, he stays, and he wants to be here on this crazy journey of life. He chooses this life.
10. God meant him for me. I believe this in my whole being. He’s my perfect counterpart. He allows me to “come down” and see things as they are, the truth, the goodness, the possibility. I am so lucky that, on this huge globe in the middle of space, the two of us found each other. Only God could make that happen…