Last week, a sweet friend posted a song on my facebook page.
I love these lyrics:
“The more i seek you, the more i find you. The more i find you, the more I love you”
as they speak so much about my life right now. The more I seek Him, I find Him everywhere.
A few months ago, I was in conversation with a spiritual mentor and he spoke about how our God is a jealous God. I, along with many I’m sure, just took that as He wants us to want only Him. But no, He isn’t just jealous, He’s jea-lous. I loved this explanation that my mentor gave: He loves like a hurricane, and a hurricane knows no bounds. He wants every part of us, every part of our lives. He wants to consume our every moment, our every thought. He wants to consume the messy parts and the wonderful parts and everything in-between. He wants us to love Him above all things. He wants to love us, and us to love Him. He is jealous for us.
Today, I walked into my bible study ready to quit. I sat down next to a friend and told her that I’ve over-committed myself, yet again. I am balancing my family, my marriage, my volunteering at school, my volunteering at church, my housekeeping, my job. What was I thinking when I signed up for this intense 8 month long bible study? As these words came out I knew they were just excuses. I knew that I was choosing these other things over this blessing of a study and opportunity to dig deeper into His Word. Later, in the lecture, the leader said this: Idols can be made out of anything: ideas, activities, family, work, ministry, ourselves.
Wow. All of these things I’ve been trying to hold together, to juggle, I’ve made idols out of. I’ve put them all above God, often deceiving myself by telling myself that these are the things I’m supposed to do. These are the things that good people do. If I don’t elevate Him above all else, I will never be able to hold anything together. Another amazing quote from my lecture this morning: When God is displaced, the results can be tragic. Tragic.
Why is it so hard to follow Him? Why do I struggle with this daily? I’ve chosen Him, but have I really? It’s so easy to be distracted by the things of life, but to stay course and keep the sails up are often exhausting. Especially when things aren’t going my way, when I’m arguing with my husband or when I’m feeling tired and alone. But that is when I am reminded that these are the times where we grow closer to Him. When things are messy and uncomfortable, He meant for us to come to Him, to cling to Him
Father, I pray that you would hold me close when I begin to wander away from you. I pray that You send me reminders throughout my day that allow me to stay on course. Father, please give me the wisdom to see when I divert my attentions from You and set up earthly things above You. I thank you for opportunities to grow in spirit, to grow and learn with you.
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Gifts 78 – 87
thoughtful gifts
thoughtful notes
my husband doing the grocery shopping
cool Autumn air
pumpkins
and pie
antique week
and friends to share it with
windows
sharing