Merriam-Webster defines anticipation as the act of looking forward. Like you, I’ve had many occurrences and events in life that I’ve looked forward to. I have looked forward to birthdays, celebrations, moves. I’ve looked forward to meals, weekend getaways, a night out with the girls. These all pale in comparison to the anticipation I have for my marriage.
You see, my husband and I started our marriage outside of the safety of the Lord. Unequally yoked, we were young, broken, trying, tired. And with all of that baggage and junk, we have walked a long uphill journey, one that has, at times, left us feeling discouraged and at odds with each other. The tension found in a marriage like ours is heavy and thick. Until we found common purpose, it truly was a battlefield everyday. When the Lord gave me vision for my marriage, at a time when I thought there was none to be found, I don’t know if I could have ever expected fruit to grow. Yet the Lord, in His mercy and all-knowing, gave us a way.
If you read the psalms of David, you’ll see a constant back and forth. Some days, David sings from the mountains. Some days, he begs to be pulled out of the pits. From our modern-day perspectives, without much study, we could easily call David out to be overly dramatic.
In Psalm 27, David declares the Lord as his light and salvation. Having battled and had enemies standing before him, David asks the question “whom shall I fear?” He goes on and tells us of all the wins God did to protect him against the war before him. He seems to know that it will happen again, yet David sings praises, trusting that the Lord God will be his shelter, hide him, cover him, set his path straight. And near the very end, David proclaims that he is certain to see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living and reminds himself (and others) to wait for the Lord with strength and courage.
In all of David’s trials, he comes back to his expectation and anticipation of what the Lord will do. I have to think that he does this because he has seen himself, in those times of trial and peace, all of the wondrous things that God has already done. Even when David is in the pit, somewhere deep down he knows that he can expect the Lord to come in and move. Even when his enemies are against him from all sides, David knows that he can anticipate the Lord to cover him and shelter him and protect and guide him.
In early days, I needed answers for my husband’s faith (or lack of). I asked questions and offered invitations and when they were shot down, like a child I threw a little tantrum. In early days of our marriage, I thought that it was up to me to get him to faith. Naïve and immature, I know. I’ve learned so many lessons since those days. Like David, I have back-and-forth days, though I can confidently say that they are now more forward facing. Instead of grasping for all the control, I’ve learned to wait patiently for the LORD to move, to mend, to bend us, me. I’ve learned that even when Satan is after our marriage and tricks us into sinning against one another or acting outside of love, the Lord is there, and quick, to remind me of my place and my posture. I’ve learned to ask for courage to speak love and light in ways that our Father uses to bend my husband towards a faith-relationship with Himself. I’ve learned to find and hold onto the strength to keep my mouth shut, too.
And you know what? In all of this work that the Lord has done through me, he has done just as much in my husband as well. My husband’s faith is his own, it’s private and he doesn’t share with me(yet!!), but it’s growing. God’s grace and Jesus’ love has been covering him, setting his path straight, sheltering him. Our Father has made him a kind, generous, loving man. I trust that, once we are in the land of the living (kingdom), I will see the goodness of the Lord over my husband’s life; I eagerly anticipate it.
The Lord has been so very gracious to fight our battles. He, more than any of us, wants our marriage to grow and to thrive. He enthusiastically waits with anticipation for us to invite Him in to fight, to wrestle, to stretch and to grow our marriage into something solid and sound.
I don’t know where you’ve walked or what heavy thing you are holding, and maybe you’re not really carrying anything at all. Maybe you, like me, are unequally yoked. Perhaps you are equally yoked, but in another messy circumstance. Maybe you’re frustrated, tired, weary. You might be feeling the enemy approaching from all sides.
Let me gently remind you that there is always a way. It starts with us fixing our eyes, praying with anticipation and expectation, that our LORD, who eagerly anticipates to come to our aid, will move, cover, shelter, protect and guide us.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
whom should I dread?
When evildoers came against me to devour my flesh,
my foes and my enemies stumbled and fell.
Though an army deploys against me,
my heart will not be afraid;
though a war breaks out against me,
I will still be confident.
I have asked one thing from the Lord;
it is what I desire:
to dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
gazing on the beauty of the Lord
and seeking him in his temple.
For he will conceal me in his shelter
in the day of adversity;
he will hide me under the cover of his tent;
he will set me high on a rock.
Then my head will be high
above my enemies around me;
I will offer sacrifices in his tent with shouts of joy.
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Lord, hear my voice when I call;
be gracious to me and answer me.
My heart says this about you:
“Seek his face.”
Lord, I will seek your face.
Do not hide your face from me;
do not turn your servant away in anger.
You have been my helper;
do not leave me or abandon me,
God of my salvation.
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord cares for me.
Because of my adversaries,
show me your way, Lord,
and lead me on a level path.
Do not give me over to the will of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing violence.
I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart be courageous.
Wait for the Lord.”
Psalm 27 CSB
This post was first published June 17, 2017 on glintsofgrace.com